Dear Coleen
I’d love your opinion on my ‘sleep divorce’ situation.
My husband has moved to the spare room because he says he can’t sleep in a bed with me and our two small dogs, who are at the end of the bed every night.
It’s laughable because he encouraged them being in our room at night as he hated having to get up and go downstairs to see to them when they were puppies, so it’s his fault.
He’s made his bed, so he should lie in it in my opinion.
But my friends keep saying separate beds isn’t right and that sleeping apart is the first step on a slippery slope to not having sex at all.
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Someone even suggested he might be using the dogs as an excuse to avoid me.
Both of us are quite stubborn and unwilling to budge.
I’m used to the dogs now, but if he wants them out, then I think it’s his responsibility, as he created the problem.
I’d love to know what you think, as I know you have loads of pets. We’re both in our 40s and don’t have any children.
Coleen says
I think dogs become your children – you grow to love them so much and become very attached. Their presence is comforting and reassuring, and it’s lovely to have them snuggled next to you.
But, like kids, they’re also very canny and know how to work you – trust me, I have five of them. My dogs sleep with me when I’m at home (luckily, I’m single so it’s not a problem), but when I’m away working, they choose to sleep downstairs.
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Who cares which one of you encouraged the dogs to sleep in your room?
It’s become an issue that needs sorting and it seems crazy to risk your relationship over two little dogs sleeping on the bed.
Why aren’t you helping each other to solve the problem? The dogs will sleep downstairs again. Yes, they might bark and whine for the first few nights, but if you make a routine for them and stick to it, it’ll work.
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Put them in their beds, give them a treat each, put a night light on and that’s the routine. They’ll get used to it quickly. A few nights of broken sleep is worth it if it means peace is restored between you and your hubby and you’re back in the same bed.
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