Rio Ferdinand admits he considered dumping Kate over his kids

Football pundit Rio Ferdinand has spoken honestly about how he would have said "no" to his wife Kate Ferdinand if his kids had rejected the relationship when they met her. Former England and Manchester United star Rio, 46, has now been with second wife Kate for close to a decade.

But it hasn't always been plain sailing. Speaking about trying to introduce her after the death of his wife and the mother of three of his children, Rio said: "I do think it's important in the way that you introduce this new person into the house. We very much were on the basis, we talked a lot before we even broached the idea with the kids.

"We brought Kate in as a friend first, they started seeing her around at different things that we go into friends' houses, et cetera. Kate will be there. And Ronnie, the dog, which is a great softener as well.

"But those moments of familiarity and, 'Oh, it's only Kate,' soften that next move where you go, 'Right, guys,' and you bring that. I just think we were really much about bringing them into the conversation, make them feel, have some ownership over the whole situation. 'Listen, guys, you remember Kate?' Let's see where we go then, Dad.'

"I think if you do it wrong, I've been in a situation, my own family recently, where it's done wrong. And I've been part of the ramifications of that and the repercussions. It's hard, you don't really get over it if you do it wrong, if it's done abruptly without conversations and done the wrong way.

"But if people are saying no, the kids are saying no I don't know, man. I'm just lucky, fortunately we didn't get to that point. But if my kids have said no, we're probably not here right now. Because we don't get the chance to get to where we are, where we're like madly in love.

"Because as soon as the kids say no - we were in love at that time, but it was still early enough to think where you go, but on both sides, you go, 'The kids ain't accepting me, I can't get into this. It's too much stress.'

"And I'm going, 'The kids ain't happy. They're going to have to be number one.' And I think there's a lot of relationships that would end up because of that.

"I don't know how you push on after you've just found someone, you fell in love with them, you two together, and the kids aren't involved in that. And then when they get involved and not happy, I don't know how you still move forward together like that unless you separate it."

Rio and Kate, 34, began dating in 2016 after the death of his first wife, Rebecca Ellison. Rebecca sadly passed away from breast cancer in 2015. They married in 2019 and since then Kate has welcomed two children with her husband. As well as Shae, two, and Cree, four, mum Kate is also a stepmother to Rio's children Lorenz, Tate, and Tia - who Rio shared with wife Rebecca before she died.

Rio also admitted he felt "massive guilt" if he had to leave his kids at home after his first wife died, even "just going to work". But he said he came to realise that going out on dates was healthy as it was "a bit of you time" and gave him a sense of "relief" away from the worry over his children.

He explained: "I think it's very natural to feel guilty. I don't think I ever went, really went out anywhere. I swear, even just going to work, there's massive guilt.

"Just going to work, you're thinking, I can't leave these three babies. I can't leave them.

"The fact they're going to school is definitely a 100% bonus, because you can do stuff in between there and really not feel that guilty. But then it was more like when they come home, and I really tried to make a conscious effort of being there, but then sometimes work did actually make me have to be out of the house.

"And it's like, it's a really big tug of war with yourself. But I think you have to be kind of, you have to take care of yourself. You have to... the kids are more, everyone's always said this, the kids are more resilient than you actually think.

"If you just put them in cotton wool and just really make them always feel secure and always just trying to make the perfect scenario for them, that's not good for them in the long run.

"So you being out of the house and not being there at moments, and they are questioning it, but they know you're coming back, it actually is good for them, I think, in time.

"But in the moment, I think it's hard to believe that and to really go like, okay, that's the situation, because your instincts are to feel guilty, do you know what I mean?

"But going out on dates, I think are even good for you when you're in this position, in this transition, because whether it's the right person or not, it's a bit of you time, and your head space is not about being a dad and being protective and trying to cotton wool those next steps for the kids and make everything perfect.

"You're just actually, you're kind of coming away from that and actually the relief, I swear to you that the... I don't know, I used to feel so much like going out with my mates, or if you did go on a date, it's like... because your head's really heavy, man. It's really heavy.

"You're worrying a lot. It's just pure worry all the time, constantly worrying, worrying, worrying, seeing your kids look out of a window and thinking, what the hell are they thinking? And it just breaks you."

And Rio also told the Blended podcast he "can't forget" the "negative people" when he suffered loss and still "harbour a lot of it" but will forgive them if they were to apologise to him over it but added: "I struggle to get past a lot of it”.

Rio and Kate have been open about their relationship and it was the focus of a BBC documentary which aired in 2020. Rio And Kate: Becoming A Stepfamily explored the challenges Kate dealt with in being both a partner to Ferdinand and a new stepmother to three grieving children.

The full interview with Rio is on Kate's Blended podcast.

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